Life is suffering (1)

I have long abandoned my faith as a Christian. I don't want to criticize anyone, nor do I want to vent my anger about my situation. It is not even intended to gossip about Christians or Christians. What good is that to me, and what good is all the years to me now?

It is just to leave a record from the beginning of the process of first accepting Buddhism. It is not known whether this article will be long or short. Like my life.

Having lived as a Christian for nearly 40 years, I was more hostile to Buddhism than anyone else. I didn't have any special reason. I think I got such antipathy because I was just told this and that in church or forced to think of monotheism.

Everyone has a hard time in life. When one is over thirty, everyone experiences a painful and bitter world. I also hurt others intentionally or not, and as much as I am hurt by others.

There is a saying, "Misfortunes never come alone." It means that good things don't often overlap, and just as bad things happen one after another. I've been through a series of hardships lately, and I've come to look back on my life.


Numerous problems such as my professional disconnect, a sense of betrayal to the people I believed in, my health problems and so on have constantly plagued me. In that process, I sometimes prayed to God and thought a lot about it. Everything was useless. Then I came across one of the Buddhist doctrines by chance.

"Life is a circulation of happiness, sadness, good times, and bad times. If you're going through hard times now, have faith that good times are on the way," it was roughly the same content. (Indeed, I don't know whether such a phrase exists in Buddhist scriptures.)

That doesn't mean that I was interested in Buddhism as soon as I saw that passage. With the recent years of skepticism about Christianity, I naturally became interested in Buddhism as well. Anyway, after seeing that passage, I felt much more relaxed. The countless wounds I've suffered in my life, the pain that constantly afflicts me, the many worries about the present - I felt that these things bothered me much less.

There is nothing I know about Buddhism. I just know that there was a man named Sakyamuni, and that he was something important in Buddhism. Sometimes I look up passages from Buddhist scriptures or something on the Internet. I just pass on some complicated doctrines I don't know well. I just find a phrase that will ease my mind and keep it. That's enough for me.

Something that can make my mind a little more comfortable.
Something that can soothe my weary soul a little.
That's more than enough.

The wounds I have exchanged with others over the years I have lived so far are already too much to handle. I don't know my past life, but I certainly think I've done something big wrong in my previous life. Otherwise, my life can't be this hard, right?

Comfortable at heart - that's the most important thing for me.

Whether I am in a temple or in a church, everything else is secondary. My mind is at ease - that's the best thing for me.

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I am not a native speaker of English. I accept that my English is not perfect. Thank you Google Translator.