Life is suffering (2)

I was born into a faithful Christian family. My father is a pastor and all my relatives go to church very enthusiastically.

So, of course, I am a natural born believer, and I have been to church since I was young.

Christianity was not a matter of choice for me. It was natural for me to go to church, and it was unimaginable for me not to go to church on Sunday. I happened to play with my friends on Sunday and was severely scolded by my father on a late day of church service. Just faith was not my choice, it was a habit and a custom, just a kind of belief that I took for granted.

Even after I became an adult and came out of society, of course, I went to the church steadily, and I have done everything that churchgoers do, such as paying a tithe and praying for meals. In addition to my meal prayer, I always prayed when I woke up or went to work in the morning, got off work, and came home safely.

Sometimes I wondered about my religious life, but I just tried to ignore it, buried in my heart. (I may have avoided topics such as "evolutionary theory" or "dinosaur," which seem to be somewhat out of line with the Bible.)

I don't know what some people will say when I write this, but I'm just writing my thoughts calmly.

While living like that, everything changed last year.

Originally, there was no word like "Buddhism" in my life. It was an improbable word and topic.

Since birth, my father has been a pastor, and all my relatives and family members have been Christians, so Buddhism was a word that was difficult to even approach.

Everyone goes through this and that in their lives. So at the end of the year, anyone would think like this.

"Oh, this year has been this hard, but next year will be at least better than this year.""
"It was so hard this year that it will be less difficult next year than this year.""

But living was not as easy for me as anyone. I have always lived a life of being beaten around. I've only been having a hard time every year in my life.
(I might say "yes, because I'm weak". I don't know if that's right.)

Especially, last year was a tough year for me personally. I quit my job, I got serious health problems. I had to quit my job automatically because I had something wrong with my body. It was largely because I had been working too hard.

Taking a break from work, going to the hospital, getting a C.T. I quit my job first and fiddled without thinking for a few months. I lounged around without thinking, as if I had rewarded myself for working hard.

When I woke up in the morning, I went hiking with my wife for my health. I ate as much as I liked. I tried to be as comfortable as I could without money. I bought a lot of books, too. No matter how hard I was in need of money, I bought several books every month.

Even though my body was tired, I felt like my life would stop if I didn't even read a book. I didn't read all the books I bought, but I tried to read as much as I could.

Climbing, which I usually went in the morning, really helped me a lot. Walking on mountains and hills, I came to think about this and that.

"What happened to my life? I've been living a sincere and good life. Why did my life become like this?"

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I am not a native speaker of English. I accept that my English is not perfect. Thank you Google Translator.